25/10/2015

I really don’t remember the last time I woke up and wasn’t worried about money. That’s pretty messed up right? I’m sure there was a point where I wasn’t agitated or stressed but I just don’t remember it. I think it’s pretty remarkable the power that paper with value printed on it can dictate the way I go about my life. Instead of going out and doing things that make me happy I spend my time working towards an unattainable goal, having enough not to work. So, I save and I save but with every pay check comes more responsibility and I realise with more and more certainty that this is my life now. Dictated by a currency that I desire purely in necessity. I guess this means I’m a grown up now. Maybe that’s the point you reach adulthood when you wake up for the very first time thinking of money. Coveting the comfort that comes with wealth and envying those who possess it. The thought that one person could truly hate another for simply having greater wealth than them is a truly disturbing concept. Blind hatred scares me. The way technology has become a way to disconnect us from any sense of guilt when targeting eachother. The hatred and envy aimed at those who excel is something that really unsettles me. Just the rage that can be spilt across a keyboard with no consideration to the recipient. It leads to a huge disconnect in our society as in order to protect themselves from the scrutiny of their onlookers those with financial power don’t even look any more. They chose to remove themselves from the line of fire to avoid the aggression and therefore close down the lines of communication between different wealth based class systems. Before I digress into a semi political rant I will say this, without any personal knowledge of a person any anger or resentment you feel towards them will be motivated by resentments and anger you hold in yourself. I guess I’m just mad I’m not doing something I love to earn money, maybe if I did that I’d be so caught up in being excited to do what I love that I wouldn’t notice that I was earning money while doing it. Well, that’s the dream I guess.