Now what?

I’ve been thinking a lot about what to write. In fact, Last night I was kept awake not only by the cacophony of the storm that had left me drenched and thoroughly relieved to find that yes, puddle jumping is still a worthy pursuit. I did however find myself at home after my unexpectedly soggy cycle ride home making breakfast at midnight and then later I was kept awake by various ideas and thoughts for this blog. It’s a completely new concept for me publicizing my thoughts and ideals. It feels very vulnerable but at the same time very safe. I spend so much time censoring my thoughts for my friends, family and even sometimes for myself. Using less exotic vocabulary so not to intimidate and holding back my opinions as usually they are met by scrutiny and mistrust mostly my own if I’m honest. I guess the difference here is that you cannot see my face. You cannot judge my appearance or my age you only have my words. Perhaps my anonymity graces me with a kind of strength, a forum free of any preconceptions. So, What words do I have for you today? What ideals and what knowledge can I pass? It feels very intimidating looking down at this keyboard. Even now I’m censoring myself deleting and rewriting endless sentences attempting to provide something worth reading. Isn’t it an inherently human trait to seek approval? From adolescence we are taught to crave achievement and accolades. Our success is based on rigorous tests that don’t come close to echoing the dances we perform in our minds. How can you test a plethora of different dancers with movement that only exhibits a particular style, ethnicity, gender and basic structure? Survival of the fittest has become twisted and distorted into a competition of wit, intellect, good fortune and attractive physical traits. Wealth and power in this world is only given to those deemed worthy when stood trial against those archetypes. Finding your place in a world that doesn’t deem you worthy of success is fairly impossible. You either stand upon a soap box and shout into the faceless abyss or you push the boundaries, From the confines of your allocated position by teaching your children that puddle jumping is still a worthy pursuit.

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